My Remarks at Staff Appreciation Day, February 2024

I started reading David Brooks’ recent book, called How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen –  

“Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being.  But it is not enough.  People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract.  The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well:  disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.” (Brooks, pps. 7-8)

As I read through this list, I experienced so many “yes!” moments….

But then, I almost quit the book, or maybe, I need to write a letter to David Brooks… because he goes on to write: “These are some of the most important skills a human being can possess, and yet we don’t teach them in school.”

David Brooks needs to come to Lakefield.

Our 220+ staff – our 165 staff members plus our Aramark team members – have a gift for creating community, and this has been occurring at Lakefield, for years.

Every single day I see our staff doing the hard work of practicing  those small, concrete social actions well, and with each other; AND I see you doing the hard work of practicing those same social actions with our students, our teenagers. I see that you live a values-driven life, and by your words and actions, you teach and inspire our students to lead a values-driven life.   

We all know it is not easy to use and teach these skills day in and day out, and I am so grateful for every person in our school, for your understanding of what it takes to build trust and to care, deeply, for others. 

Lakefield staff understand the time it takes to treat people with consideration even, sometimes, in those moments when they may not seemingly deserve it. Our staff seem to rise to those challenging moments, and offer even more to students in those times. Our staff understand what it takes to understand people and to support and challenge them as they learn to navigate learning, life, social media, who they are, and how to close the gap between who they are and who they want to be…the time it takes to learn to love themselves, and to love one another. 

What happens here, at Lakefield, can be complicated and sometimes challenging, and yet so deeply meaningful because our staff do not shy away from the tough work of seeing others and making them feel seen. 

I spend a lot of time thinking about our future, and we all know that Artificial Intelligence is going to do many things for us in the future, and possibly replace humans at many tasks.  The one thing it will never be able to do is to create person-to-person connections. David Brooks also wrote that: “If you want to thrive in the age of AI, you better become exceptionally good at connecting with others.”

Today is a celebration of being exceptionally good at connecting with others, and I cannot thank you enough for doing this hard, meaningful work together.  

And even more than that, at Lakefield, we somehow manage to do this meaningful work of connecting with fun, laughter, music, and joy.

Thank you.

With thanks to Kim Blackwell and our awesome parents for making Staff Appreciation Day fun for us!

More relevant than ever

In a moment of social media weakness, I clicked on an article called “25 Brands That Are Dying Out” and I started to worry.  As I scrolled through brands of my childhood, like Jello, Campbell’s Soup, and Chef Boyardee, and then those of my young adult life like Gap, Crocs and Kodak, I felt a range of emotions.  I suppose none of the struggling brands really surprised me and it is probably a good thing that society has become more health and environmentally conscious.  And yet, I found myself wondering about the simple fact that people lose interest in things and consumer trends change.  Naturally, my mind wandered to the organization where I work and live  – could my school ever become a story of the past?

I wish the answer was a simple no.  The fact is, we all need to continually ask ourselves this question and never rest on our laurels.  The strongest schools are the ones that work hard to stay relevant, holding on to the best of the past while striving to meet the changing needs of families.  

For over 140 years, parents have been choosing to send their children to Lakefield College School, and eight years ago, I also chose this school for my son (who is now in his final year at McGill) and daughter (who is in her third year at IE in Madrid).  I chose Lakefield because of the strength of its programs – its mission is to “challenge and enable students to reach their individual potential in mind, body and spirit” and I wanted that kind of well-rounded, enriching environment for my kids.  There are a lot of opportunities, including a wide-range of courses and an unbelievable list of co-curricular programs.  I also knew from my research and work as the Executive Director of CAIS for over 11 years, that the teachers were world-class with a genuine passion for learning through relationships.  Now that I am Head of School here, I believe that our school is more relevant than ever for another important reason:  we have the courage and humility to acknowledge and address areas to improve.  Let me point out three areas in particular: 

We are committed to being even more affordable

Lakefield College School strives to be accessible to a wide variety of families. We are grateful that our alumni and parents continue to choose to donate back to our school so that approximately one third of our student body receives financial support annually.  I believe that parents should ask about the size of a school’s endowment, as this is a real indicator of the values as well as the strength and permanence of a school.  Find out more about how to afford our school here.

We are working hard to be even more inclusive

With 270 teenagers living in our 12 houses on campus, and another 130 teens joining us each day, we prioritize safety.  We invest in staff development, a high student to staff ratio, and small advisor groups.  What I hear from our families is that our students are known and supported.  And we have made a commitment to be even more inclusive.  As one example, we acknowledged in our strategic planning process that we have a facilities gap, so we are upgrading our residences to be more inclusive.  When our two new houses open this fall, we will have one of Canada’s first inclusive housing models, including stalled washrooms.

We are building on our strength to become an environmental leader

LCS has always been an outdoors school, now situated on 300+ acres, with two campuses.  100% of our students are required to take a course in outdoor education, ensuring that they experience both the beauty and challenge of nature. For over a century, our students have been learning skills such as how to paddle a canoe, build a campfire in the rain, and collaborate on an Algonquin expedition. Last spring, we introduced a farm program at our Northcote Campus, and students are learning how to grow food that is produced for our campus and local charitable partners: 40-45% is intentionally grown to be donated to Nourish Project, Kawartha Food Share, and the Lakefield Community Food Bank. We are excited to see how we can continue to inspire teens to be leaders with a deep connection with and responsibility to the environment and their communities. Obviously, I love this school.  I see engaged teenagers; I see our staff striving 24/7 to make the student experience the best it can be.  Our community gives me a deep sense of gratitude, and we share a passion to get even better.  One of my alumni mentors recently told me that if you aren’t at least slightly paranoid, you should ask more questions.  I agree!  In my monthly parent meetings, we ask for feedback.  It’s also my practice to engage every student at least twice per year in two questions:  what is working well and what can we do to improve?  The fact is, we are all passionate about improvement around here (See articles from this week alone!  on learning, on running, and on community.)  As a community we strive to ask good questions, be kind, and try our best.  For these reasons, I agree with Rory Gilfillan whose words inspired this video:  the world needs Lakefield now, more than ever.

The Important Question

Jeff Bezos is frequently asked the question: “What’s going to change in the next 10 years?” and almost never gets the question: “What’s not going to change?” He says it’s impossible to imagine a future 10 years from now where a customer comes up and says, “Jeff, I love Amazon; I just wish the prices were a little higher” or, “I just wish you’d deliver a little slower.”  Impossible.

Let’s consider this question in terms of schools.  There is a lot of talk – always! – about the future of education and the new skills that students will need and the experiences that will support their development.  Curriculum is also ever-evolving, as it should, and we are reviewing the books we read and the content we teach.  At Lakefield, for example, our Summer Reading Program included new and diverse authors.  Additionally, we offered a Farm to Table Course for the first time, and our students were deeply engaged in working at our garden and exploring the complex issues of food and sustainability.  All schools are evolving and teachers continually impress me with their commitment to updating their classes.  So I also love this question:  What’s not going to change?

I believe the answer is simple.  For me, it is impossible to imagine a future 10 years from now where teenagers say, “I love school; I just wish I knew my teacher in a Zoom class instead of in person,” or, “I just wish there was less time laughing with my friends.”

As we return to in-person learning this week, I hope that we reconfirm our focus on relationships.  We all must prioritize our enhanced safety protocols.  Full stop.  But my hope is that we won’t get too anxious about covering curriculum, at least in the beginning.  I share the worry of others that there may be a gap in learning from the past 18 months, but I believe that the strategy with the potential to do the most good is to help our students with social interactions.  We have been separated, and there is some anxiety around coming together again, and we must take it one step at a time. But no matter what else happens, the bonds that students form with their teachers and with each other have never been more important, and our opening plans must include time and intentional strategies for connecting.

When our Leadership Team met this summer, we sat outside, at a round table, in the shade, and we opened our meeting with a question:  What lessons have we learned in the pandemic?  For me, I enjoyed the chance to listen to my colleagues, who always impress me with their candor and thoughtfulness, and I enjoyed the chance to share my thoughts, too.  I was reminded of how good it feels to be really heard.  I realized afterwards, there was an aspect of escapism – for a few minutes, this global event felt like a thing of the past.  And of course, there was laughter.  There were more than a few times that afternoon when I had that feeling of connection.

So, as I think about going back to school in person, I hope we can prioritize a few important questions.  What is the question that will compel students to engage in meaningful conversations?  Can we find a place to talk outdoors? Can we judge our success by time spent listening to stories and moments of spontaneous laughter? 

E.M. Forster’s books explore human connections, and he is famous for two words found in Howard’s End epigraph: Only connect.

Schools have this unique opportunity to prioritize relationships in the coming days and weeks.  And while I believe that connecting is more important than ever in schools, I also believe that this will never change.

How Should Leaders Spend Time In a Pandemic?

A wise mentor once told me that the position of Head of School means that you experience the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. In the past few months, Heads of Schools have experienced more than a normal share of the lowest of the lows, without many of the highs.

With all of the safety requirements in place, and with so much happening on Zoom, we are missing those soulful, sometimes magical experiences that come when the entire school gathers together as one community, when we see student talent in action, and when we feed off the energy of the crowd. I admit to finding it tough to find opportunities to genuinely connect with our community this year, and I cannot wait to be able to go back into Houses, eat in the Dining Hall, be with everyone together in our chapel and theatre, and experience some of the amazing full-school traditions that are unique to all schools, and especially to The Grove.

Now, I am fortunate that I have been finding loads of highs around here. Our staff have soldiered through the changing protocols and have risen to every challenge, and then risen again! Their passion for prioritizing student needs has been nothing short of inspirational, every single day. Our health team has gone above and beyond ensuring the ongoing safety of our community, day and night. Our Leadership Team has worked non-stop, managing situations with compassion and diligence; they are not only proactively planning so that we can experience “normal” as often as possible now, they are also strategizing so Lakefield continues to thrive in the future.

And our students are impressing me with their resilience. This past year has been really hard for students – young and old, here and everywhere. We all need to acknowledge this challenge and plan for the long-term impact on the wellbeing of our young people.

Here at Lakefield, I am so grateful and proud that our student leaders have managed to prioritize joy for our community, and they have astounded me with their passion, dedication, and creativity.

Let me share one of my highest of highs in the past week.

Last Friday evening, I finished a presentation to students around 6:15 pm, and I was hungry! Since no one eats in the Dining Hall this year except boarding students with their residential staff, I was planning to go home, cook dinner, and watch the evening event – Air Bands! – on Zoom.

Air Bands is usually one of my favourite nights, and I bet most people here would say the same! Every single student on campus participates in a House dance. They are highly competitive and rehearse for weeks. Because musical theatre is one of our signature programs, we happen to have a lot of excellent dancers who pour their energy into the non-dancers to create a routine. There are themes, competitions, and staff judges who get into character and make the feedback sessions entertaining. The night is always a big deal. In non-pandemic conditions, we would all pile into the theatre; the lights, sound and choreography are professionally done; and the audience goes wild – totally crazy! – with cheering and applause.

So last Friday evening, the thought of going home to watch this event on Zoom was depressing.

Then I ran into one of our Grade 12 student leaders, and she asked if I was going to be in the theatre at 7pm. I said no, because of our strict protocols, limiting people in indoor spaces.

Her response caught me off guard: “Come to the theatre! We won’t have 50 people in there! Besides, it’s your school… can’t you do whatever you want?” I was so moved by her enthusiasm that I inquired about the detailed logistics.

Kudos to our students for pulling off an amazing set of safety requirements – students traveled in small House groups, on a tight schedule, entering the theatre one way with loads of hand sanitizer, and exiting another way, with a second round of sanitizer. Masks were worn and everyone was respectful of the rules. It is a big deal to participate in a school-wide event during a pandemic – we keep reminding ourselves: nothing is easy – and everyone knew we had to be extra careful in order to keep our community safe.

So last Friday evening, after my husband made and delivered dinner to me, I sat alone with my mask on, as one of a handful scattered all over the theatre, and watched Air Bands.

Lucky me. Our students danced their hearts out. They didn’t even seem to notice that they were performing for a mostly empty theatre. And then it happened. I found myself so wrapped up in the moment, that I began hooting and hollering as if I was a teenager in a packed theatre, with the lights down and hundreds of us clapping and shouting with enthusiasm. I also noticed that others were doing the same – from around the theatre, lone voices would let out a loud: Woohoo! And then others would chime, including me, with all my might.

A wise mentor also once told me that the leader’s job is to be the biggest cheerleader of the organization, and I previously understood that to be a metaphor. But believe me when I say that last Friday night, I found myself trying to be the biggest cheerleader on campus, literally. And without a doubt, thanks to our students, I experienced one of the highest of the highs in my career.

The Burnout Blog

I should have seen it coming when I found myself listening to yet another podcast on burnout. First it was Brene Brown, then it was Dan Harris, and there were articles and webinars through the fall as well.  I told myself I was interested in supporting my staff and students, and I was. We are a community that prioritizes wellness, and last spring, we added a Task Force to ensure we are doing all we can for our staff and students.  And we have more to come. 

My favourite so far is Wellness Wednesdays.  For me, walking my dogs is a great way to relax, get outside and get energized. Not a walk goes by without my laughing at the two of them, and I have a route that takes me by our barn and under a tree lined path. At the start of the year, when Adam Ross, our Athletic Director and member of our Health and Wellbeing Task Force asked for volunteers, I offered the idea of dog walking.  I felt like an insecure teen myself, wondering if anyone else would like the idea.  Turns out, it was the most popular session.  On the first Wednesday, I watched as students gathered outside my office window (We call it the Grove around here).  I saw my dogs were already among them, and some bright students already found other campus dogs to walk.  The scene made me laugh – Wellness Wednesday was already working for me and I hadn’t even stepped outside! And then we were off… at maximum capacity, we were 38 students and 14 dogs traipsing past other groups (fitness, canoeing, beach volleyball, and mountain biking) and through our woods.  The day it rained felt just as exhilarating, and every walk allowed me to just chat with students with whom I would not otherwise have a chance to connect.  The pandemic makes it challenging to have spontaneous conversations.

But what I realized last weekend, was that that wasn’t enough.  As a boarding school Head, like everyone in education, I’ve been working long days with very few days off since the spring.  I told Vicky Boomgaardt, our Assistant Head, that I was looking forward to taking a couple days off, and she said, “You know, Saturday and Sunday don’t actually count as taking a couple days off; it’s called the weekend.”

So, I took a few days away from the school.  I have been thinking about what made it so restorative – was it being off of our campus? Catching up on sleep? Living without a schedule? I think it was all of those things, but I also think it was living other aspects of my life.  My son joined us and it felt good to make him a pot of soup and eat the cookies he baked; my aunt had surgery and it felt good to bring her a container of home-made chili; I zoom called with friends and wondered why we don’t do it more often; Kevin and I hiked our favourite trail in the Gatineaus, walked to a new outdoor coffee shop, and binge-watched The Queen’s Gambit.  I also read an entire book. Usually this is not a significant accomplishment, but since the pandemic started, I haven’t been able to really get lost in a book.  I realized that once I had slept and avoided my phone (with the constant election and pandemic updates), I could relax and enjoy one of my favourite past-times again.

Lessons learned?  I need to take more than two days in a row off (Thank goodness for the perfectly timed November break!), and not only did I need to escape my day-to-day routine, I needed to intentionally tune-out of the world of incessant news and do things I love. 

And as a leader, I have an additional lesson learned.  It is not easy to admit to needing a break, and as it is the role of the leader to be strong and positive so as to inspire the community, I learned that I needed to fight the urge to appear to be strong, when what I really needed was a break.  If I am serious about supporting wellness initiatives, I also need to look at my own lifestyle and be open about my own need to hit pause and recharge.  If tone is set at the top, so too is wellness.  My hope is that my admission here is not perceived as weakness.

My big hope is that anyone who reads this will feel that needing a break is normal, now more than ever.

Wellbeing Wednesday at Lakefield College School, with Anne-Marie Kee, Head of School

Wellbeing Wednesday at Lakefield College School

Wellbeing Wednesdays at Lakefield College School

What can we do now? One Canadian school’s response to Black Lives Matter

I feel it is my responsibility as a community leader to address the situation south of the border, around the world, and even in our own community, and confirm our school’s stance.

We are a school that is over 140 years old and made up of people from over 40 countries, all of whom aspire to be global citizens who care about all issues of injustice.

What does a 51-year old white woman, who grew up in a middle-class family, in a predominantly white community, now living in a beautiful area, in a small, safe community in rural Ontario have to contribute to today’s global conversation on systemic racism?

At Lakefield, one of our seven values is our Healthy, Caring Community — The belief in the dignity and worth of all individuals. We embrace diversity; we encourage empathy and acceptance.

In our School Life Guide, we have a Statement of Commitment:  The inherent right of all individuals to be treated with dignity and respect is central to the values and beliefs of Lakefield College School.  We are fully committed to respecting and protecting the personal dignity and human rights of our students and employees.  Harassment, bullying, and sexual misconduct, in any form or social medium, is against everything for which we stand as an educational institution and it will not be tolerated. (pg 43)

But at this moment in history, I believe in what Angela Davis, a civil rights activist in the United States has said: “It is not enough to not be racist. We must be anti-racist.”

I believe that the most important thing we should do at this time is to educate ourselves so we can seek to better understand what we can do in support of the Black Lives Matter movement and work towards reducing all forms of racism, globally.

I believe we need to take meaningful action, and I believe this begins with our own lives.

On a personal note, I have been reading, following the news, and reflecting on how my privilege has shaped my views.  I’ve signed the Justice for George Floyd Petition on change.org, and made a personal contribution to two non-profit organizations working on inequity.

I am focused on how I can better myself and our community.  As I said in chapel this morning, quoting from The Choice by Dr Edith Eger, a Holocaust survivor, no one can take away from you what you’ve put in your mind.  You can’t change what happened, you can’t change what you did or what was done to you. But you can choose how you live now.

And now is our time.

I realize that I can do better and I am making a commitment to prioritizing anti-racism in our community.

I believe that we can do better.

We are going to seek to understand, raise awareness, and strive to lead members of our community to direct action.  We have compiled resources (see below); and we are dedicating time with students in tomorrow’s advisor meetings to listen and talk about how we can all contribute.

But this conversation will not end tomorrow.

What can we do each and every day to confront racism and advance equality at Lakefield College School?

For starters, our teachers and staff will commit to additional training on anti-racism and global issues. I know of at least one student who has already started a conversation about how we can address issues of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion in a more fulsome way.  We also have the Safe Space, which was created exactly for this purpose.

My expectation is that students and staff will talk about what’s next in tomorrow’s advisor groups and share their actionable steps with our Leadership Team by the end of the week.

As writer James Baldwin said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

I am providing this message to all members of our Grove community, to publicly promise that we can and must be better.

Resources that may be of interest to you: Books, Podcasts, Articles:

• ‘1619’ podcast by The New York Times
• Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication by meenadchi
• Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad
• How to be an AntiRacist by Ibram X. Kendi
• 7 Myths About Cultural Appropriation Debunked video by Franchesca Ramsey***
• Surviving Oppression; Healing Oppression by Vanissar Tarakali
• How to Survive Intersectional Feminist Spaces 101 by Saroful
• The Racial Wealth Gap: Addressing America’s Most Pressing Epidemic by Brian Thompson***
• The Case for Reparations by Te-Nahisi Coates***
• Detour-Spotting for White Anti-Racists by Jona Olsson***
• When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrice Khan-Cullors and Asha Bandele
• Speak Up: Opening a Dialogue with Youth About Racism by  USC Rossier School of Education
• How to Talk To Your Kids About Race: Book and Resources That Can Help by Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich
• How Well-Intentioned White Families Can Perpetuate Racism by Joe Pinsker
• Canada’s Race Problem? It’s Even Worse Than America’s by Scott Gilmore
• Canadian Education is Steeped in Anti-Black Racism by Robyn Maynard
• Policing Black Lives: State Violence in Canada from Slavery to the Present by Robyn Maynard
• Canada’s Slavery’s Secret: The Whitewashing of 200 years of Enslavement by Kyle G.Brown
• Women, Race and Class by Angela Davis
• Hoop earring criticized as cultural appropriation by Rachel Hosie
• Why America’s Black Mothers and Babies Are In A Life or Death Crisis by Linda Villarosa
• What is Settler Colonialism by Global Social Theory
• I’m Not a Feminist (and there is no but) by Renee Martin
• 100 Ways to Support—Not Appropriate From—Native People by Simon Moya-Smith

 

Follow these organizations doing important work surrounding racial equity and justice:

• Antiracist Research and Policy Center
• Black Women’s Blueprint
• Colorlines
• Equal Justice Initiative (EJI)
• NAACP
• Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ)
• SisterSong
• United We Dream

Running a school by zoom

Almost two weeks ago, on March 17^th, we launched zoom for our Leadership Team (LT) and introduced new protocols for meetings. We begin with a personal check-in, then move through our agenda, which always begins with students and ends with identification and updates on our list of biggest risks.   We end with something light-hearted, and it feels good to smile or even laugh as a team.  We have been meeting four times per week since we closed the school, and I don’t see that changing in the near future.  The challenges in this time of crisis are time-consuming and demand a whole new level of creativity and collaboration.  Thank goodness we have zoom to manage this reality.

On March 25^th, we ran our first operational staff meeting by zoom with 57 colleagues.  Our LT talked a lot about our objectives, and we made a plan to spend time doing a check-in with everyone present.  The meeting turned out to be one of my week’s highlights.  People were efficient with their quick updates, and yet they packed in humour (like the cat’s tooth that fell out), generosity (baking for neighbours), love of nature (seeing deer from their new home office or a beaver and fox on a drive) and humility (turns out I am not a great teacher!).  What surprised me was the number of staff members who wore Lakefield gear, and I agree with one comment that our swag never looked better.

This week, our Heads of House began meeting their students by zoom call as well.  By the end of March, every Lakefield student will have participated on a zoom house-meeting call.  In one case, the Head of House and parents collaborated to plan a surprise birthday party as part of their zoom meeting.  In another house meeting, they included the very popular woman who cleans their house, so they could celebrate her birthday.  I am so inspired by the creativity of our community!

On March 27^th, we ran our first round of parent meetings by zoom.  We scheduled three times for parents to call in, and by the end of Friday, we had connected with families from over 20 countries.  In total, over 125 families participated, with multiple family members in each household.  Every parent was invited to give a brief update, and I swear I could feel the relief when each person reported: “And we are all fine.”  One parent from Saudi Arabia reminded us that we are all brothers and sisters in this crisis, and he is praying for our Lakefield and global communities.  More than one parent asked if our teachers and staff were also fine.  We used the chat function for questions, greetings and gratitude, and each one-hour call was both informative and heart-warming.  I hadn’t thought about the fact that some of our students would join their parents, and it was amazingly fun to see their waves and smiles.  We will definitely repeat these meetings, in part so everyone can hear the updates and in part, so we can see each other and send our Lakefield love out around the world.

I had an absolute favourite moment.  At the end of our 5:00pm call, when we were saying our goodbyes, someone yelled out, “Bye Ms Kee… we love you”.  And then it started – in addition to the smiles and waves, people started blowing kisses before hanging up.  Some people yelled out messages of love to everyone as they blew kisses.  Naturally, I got teary as I, too, blew kisses to our families.  If you had told me when I became Head of School, that I would be blowing kisses to 75+ families on a zoom call, I would have never believed it to be true.  If you had told me that we would have a special experience that is unique to our community, something we call a “So Lakefield” moment, when using technology (and not in-person or outdoors), I would have never believed it to be true.

As we plan this week to shift to remote learning, as schools all over the world are doing, I am more confident than ever that we will make it work.  We have a plan to continue our academic program to the end of June so that students can continue their learning.  We are working on a plan to offer clubs and activities, so students can continue to be exposed to a variety of opportunities and enjoy a well-rounded education.  And after the past two weeks on zoom, I know for a fact that our plan for students and teachers to continue to connect will be a reality.  Thanks to zoom, our Grove roots will run deeper and wider than ever.  These relationships will help sustain us through this global crisis, and my hope is that our Lakefield community will be equally generous in extending their connections beyond school.  We are Lakefield, and the world needs our values more than ever.

What matters (or not) in a time of crisis

I bought a green dress to take on my holiday to Mexico for the March Break.  I was pretty excited about it because it is not a work-dress, and I typically focus my spending on work clothes.  I had visions of wearing my green dress to the pool; I even spent time wondering – would I reserve it for day-to-day pool use or might I wear it out for dinner?  I actually smiled when I caught myself thinking about this “important” question, and I counted the days to my holiday.  I remember thinking that I really needed this rest – we all run on empty leading up to March break! – and I longed for days thinking of other important questions, like sun-screen application and early morning beach-chair acquisition.

Oh how times have changed.  With the global pandemic crisis and potential economic recession, and with a world-wide educational shift to distance learning, I cannot believe how quickly we have entered into a totally new environment, where former concerns over green dresses seem pathetic.

Two weeks before break, I had to tell students who were excited to be going on one of our international trips that we had decided to cancel.  The only trip allowed to proceed was a group of international students who chose not to go home because of the virus, who were having a stay-cation in Ontario.  We were all disappointed, and while I suspect that some may have wondered if we were over-reacting, everyone was supportive.

On the last morning of school, we held a mandatory staff meeting, and we shared our plans for remote learning.  Judging by a show of hands, most of our teachers had already taken a Global Online Academy course on how to teach online or were planning to take one to prepare for this new reality.  I was so proud of the attitude in the theatre that morning.  Had I known that would be the last time we would gather in person for weeks (and perhaps months), I would have spent more time thanking them for being an incredible group of colleagues.

On the first day of break, Monday, March 16, we made the decision to close the school, one day before Premier Ford forced private schools in Ontario to close.  We had already called back our 20 international students from their stay-cation to Blue Mountain, and we acted on the advice of our Prime Minister.  We spent the afternoon calling our 44 international students whom we knew had not traveled home.  Our message was simple:  we encourage you to go home.  This call was yet another heart-breaking decision by our Leadership Team, but we evaluated whether or not we could keep our students safe indefinitely. We knew the right thing was to encourage everyone to go home to their families.  That day, I also hired security for 24-hour-seven-day-a-week monitoring of our campus and all pedestrian and vehicular traffic.  We continued to reiterate that our single biggest priority was the health and safety of our community.

As of today, Monday, March 23, all of our students are safely off-campus.  Every day last week, we said goodbye to our students in a way that was not so Lakefield at all.  There were no hugs and no happy promises to ‘See you soon’.  There were eye-locking moments, where no words were necessarily exchanged, but we understood each other’s good intentions.

Now what?  With our students gone, we can turn our attention to the enormous shift that is required to provide remote learning in a manner that is quintessentially Lakefield.  We have a goal to be excellent in three areas:

1. Academic learning that is authentic, challenging, and relational
2. Co-curricular programs that enable us to continue to inspire well-rounded leaders who can be artists and athletes for life
3. Community engagement that connects and supports students in personal ways.

Learning at Lakefield will be different – how do we do Outdoor Education when students are in 45 different countries?  And we will all have to process our extraordinary range of emotions as we will miss the fun that goes with living at Lakefield, especially if remote learning continues into the spring.

As for me and my green dress?  I put the dress in a closet where I don’t have to look at it; the last thing I need right now is to focus on how much has changed, or what is lost.  What I am focusing on is to stay informed with all that is happening in our world without losing focus on what I can control, which is the experience of our students, staff and families in the coming weeks.  My hope is to stay focused on the present, to search for the positive in each day, and to connect with friends and family.  More than ever, we need to ask good questions, try our best, and be kind.

My other hope is that the day will come when I get to pull out my green dress.  I imagine wearing it, not to a pool, but rather to a reunion with family and friends.   That image of our reconnection is my reminder that this too shall pass.

Curious and Kind

“Ask Good Questions. Try Your Best. Be Kind.” It’s a phrase I truly believe in.  In fact, when my two children were younger, we used to repeat this phrase so often that it became a bit of a family mantra.  Now at Lakefield, I use these three points frequently with our community. After all, don’t we all want our kids to grow up to be curious and kind people?

As I monitor the updates on the coronavirus outbreak, sometimes multiple times per day, I think about how we should handle this situation as a community.  First, our priority is to maintain the safety of our students.  Last week in chapel, I reminded students of the need for good health, common sense:  wash your hands, sneeze into your sleeve, and go to the Health and Wellbeing Centre (The Well)  if you have a fever or any concerns.  We are surveying our students about their travels and we have implemented a screening tool.  For any family that may be concerned about the upcoming holidays, we have a plan for students who cannot travel home because of the virus.  I also reminded students that they are here to learn, so they need to pay attention to what is happening in the world, but they also need to focus here, on their studies.  My hope is that they enter each and every class with the attitude that today they will try their best.

In chapel this week, we reviewed again all that we are doing to ensure the safety of our community.  We also had a moment of silence, for those who are suffering and for those who have passed away.

I wanted to write this blog to highlight the third part of the phrase – be kind – and I would like the support of our entire community.  In a school like ours—a small village, really, with 380 students, 155 staff, and roughly 360 living on campus fulltime (including staff and family members, plus pets!)—it’s important that we have the courage to ask good questions about this case and the media coverage.  Health officials repeatedly confirm that the risk to the public remains low in Canada.

But what I hope – and expect – is that we are kind to each other, particularly to those who are worried for friends and family.  Our students represent many parts of Canada and 45 countries around the world, which means our school is rich with opportunities to learn from each other, share experiences and debate different perspectives. Living and learning in such a diverse community reminds us all that there are multiple viewpoints for every issue and helps us to practice empathy.  Empathy is a powerful tool for our students to understand, relate, and connect with other people. It’s crucial for collaboration and true learning and leads to compassion and kindness.

It encourages me to hear our students supporting each other. Especially now, when so many parts of the world are experiencing devasting natural disasters, political and civil unrest and most recently the coronavirus. I was moved by the words of one of our students who said:

“One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that other people think the way we think. We need to think about each other and how everything affects everyone in some way.  Harper Lee once said, ‘You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view,’ this is especially true at this school where many of us are away from our parents and far from home. It is extremely difficult to not be able to be there and support our loved ones in a time of need.”

The words of this young woman give me confidence in knowing that our students are supported and encouraged by their teachers, coaches, Heads of House and, most important, each other to use their skills of empathy to ask good questions, be kind and compassionate.  We are committed to this ideal.

Only together can we create a caring community.

The Education Reform Most Needed for the New Decade

Kevin and I are beginning a new era of holidaying without our kids.  After a few amazing days together in New York City, both kids flew home to Ottawa for New Year’s Eve.  We hoped they would ring in the new year with us by joining us at the Cathedral of St John the Divine for the New Year’s Eve Concert for Peace, just like we had done in the past.  To put it mildly, they had zero interest. As they were leaving for the airport, their last words were not “Happy new year”; they were this: “Have fun at church tonight”.

And it was their loss.  We loved joining thousands of people (including Tony Goldwyn!), enjoying outstanding music, in the world’s largest cathedral. (As is always my interest, it is also home to the largest rose window in the US and fifth largest in the world, made out of 10,000 pieces of stained glass). In addition to the Cathedral Choir and Orchestra, performers included Paul Winter, Jason Robert Brown, and Judy Collins; I could have listened to any of them for the entire program.  The evening was narrated by Harry Smith, who read the Prayer of St Francis (one of my all-time favourites), and the choir performed a beautiful version of Oseh Shalom, a song for peace by Nurit Hirsh, in honour of the recent anti-Semitic attacks.  The concert ended as it has in the past – everyone lights candles and Jamet Pittman leads the group in singing This little light of mine.  I include a photo below so you can try to imagine how that would feel.  The whole evening was moving, and I wished my kids were there.

This night got me thinking – how can more people experience this kind of deeply moving music and the powerful energy that only comes from a large group gathering?  And of course, as Head of a high school, I always think about how teens in particular can have this kind of profound experience?

When I read about education trends and calls for improvements to our school systems, the focus is often on one of three areas:  Emerging technology (Artificial Intelligence, Augmented Reality, Virtual Reality, gamification); Personalized or do-it-yourself (DIY) learning, which also requires technology; and skills, competencies, and attributes required to address the environmental, economic and social challenges of the world  (Wellness, positive psychology and strength-based learning would fall in this category).  To be clear, I believe in all of this and work hard to ensure my school is preparing students for the future.  I also believe that educators are passionate consumers of research on best practice and all schools strive to do their best for students.  But my night at the cathedral makes me wonder if something is missing, and that something is connection.

I believe that students need experiences when they feel the beauty of the arts, when they are confronted by challenges, including how to strive for a more peaceful world, and when they feel joy from being part of a gathering of like-minded people.  None of this requires technology and all of it requires community.  These kinds of experiences are not easy to organize nor are they inherently appealing to students (just ask my 18 and 20 year-old children).  But here’s the thing – we need to force it.  Today’s teens spend more time alone than past generations, and even when they are with others, they tend to be on their screens.

So my hope for 2020 is this:  that educators will get the best training in how to have courageous conversations so they connect on topics that matter; and that today’s school leaders will figure out how to gather their communities and provide opportunities to challenge and inspire, engage in the arts, and create moments of humour and joy.