What is Lakefield College School really like?

After two long years of safety protocols and zoom meetings, I took advantage of a warm Friday afternoon and wandered out of my office. Our Leadership Team agreed that this would be a year of consolidation and connectivity, and we all made a promise to get off of our laptops and be more present. 

So here is what happens at Lakefield College School on a Friday evening. I wasn’t sure if I would watch some pick up soccer or basketball, or if I would head down to the waterfront to catch a game of volleyball or a rambunctious game of spike ball, or if I would just see who is hanging out in the lake or on the dock.  There are usually multiple speakers around campus with different kinds of music playing here and there.  Seeing – and hearing! – our teens outside enjoying time together before dinner always makes me smile.

But last Friday, I experienced a first – Addy Ross called me over to where her family was gathered on Muskoka chairs by the soccer field. If you ever need a pick-me-up, get to know Addy Ross.  At just three years old, she has her finger on the pulse of our campus, notices everything, and calls out everyone by name.   Seeing her screaming my name while waving her arms for me to come over filled me with joy.  She made my whole being smile.  Turns out, Addy was particularly excited because her Dad, Adam Ross, our Athletics Director, bought Moose Tracks ice cream – plus sugar cones! – to celebrate the first week of school and she invited me to join them.

As I sat eating ice cream with the Ross family children playing all around us, Heather Ross, one of our Outdoor Education Teachers, commented on the students on the soccer field. These were mostly our new students who had arrived the day before, and yet she was calling them out by name, and I was totally impressed.  How, after only one day, did she already know our students’ names?  Her eyes lit up as she explained her secret – the best way to learn new student names was to be in charge of the swim test.  She had spent the day at the lake and met every one of them as they were tested.  So, over the course of the hour, as we sat watching the sun set and the little ones getting out their evening energy, Heather and Adam pointed out various students playing soccer, noting where they were from, which House they were in, and who had siblings that I might know.  Their passion for knowing our students was genuine and quite inspirational.

Then Adam stood up, scooped Addy under his arm, and announced that he had to run to town for a few minutes so he could go to a meeting at the Curling Club in Lakefield.  He was hoping they would welcome our students to play. Remember – this is Friday night, and he was squeezing in time to create this opportunity for our students.  Again, I was moved by his generous spirit, his focus on partnerships with our local community and his initiative to ensure our students would have more options to be active this winter.

So that’s a glimpse into life at Lakefield College School. Families live on campus. Teens are outdoors in the evenings, playing with each other with no phones in sight.  Teachers go above and beyond to know students and create opportunities so they can experience more.  And a 53 year old Head of School gets to hang out with a three year old girl, marvel in her joyful approach to life, and see her ability to create a feeling of belonging.

We are Lakefield

On Monday morning, we ran our first ever Chapel service at Lakefield College School by zoom.  We weren’t sure how it would go, nor did we know how many would show up. Reading the New York Times article, As School Moves Online, Many Students Stay Logged Out., makes me feel especially grateful to our students – we had over 450 people log in to zoom at 8:30am, and we have 376 students.

Here is the short summary of my message:

Never did I imagine, that we would gather by zoom, and not in our beloved A.W. Mackenzie Chapel.

So here we are, making history.

All of us will have our own distinct feelings about being back together again, here, in this way, in our new virtually shared chapel. For me, I am struck by a range of emotions: happiness to be connecting again – gratitude that everyone showed up! – uncertainty about where we are headed, loss for what we must all leave behind. Fortunately, for me, today, being together again gives me far greater feelings of hope than loss.

But make no mistake, like you, my sense of loss is acute.

I went in the chapel last week and stared at the empty pews and wondered when it would be full again. I felt an incredible sense of loss and miss each of you.  I also feel like I am grieving the loss of Regatta Day, Gladiator Day and of course, the likely loss of gathering under the white tent to celebrate our grads.  Grads, I am so sorry that this is your year. We will work hard, and consult with you, on how to make up for this. We will celebrate you.  We will make a plan.

This morning, I want to focus on what I see happening, some of the positives, so that we will not only survive this pandemic, we will make history together.

One positive is definitely the front-line staff in this pandemic.  I hope we all take time to celebrate health care workers around the world. In every pandemic, there are doctors and nurses who respond with unbelievable heroism and compassion, and this is what is happening today.  Look them up locally.  Here in Peterborough, people make noise during their shift change at 7pm.  In Toronto, certain buildings have lit up messages for health care workers. Some of you have parents or relatives or friends who are working through all of this. Today, we thank them.  I ask for a moment of silence for those who have passed away from the virus, and for those who are working and putting their own lives at risk, to save lives. [Moment of silence.]

For the rest of us who are not health care workers or on the front line, I want us to ask this question of ourselves:  what can I do to make a difference?  In what way can I serve?

I believe we are called to serve in three ways, and no Lakefield student will be surprised by my three ways:  Ask good questions. Try your best. Be kind.

First – Shout out to Anthony Overing and Ethan Webster.  They asked this good question:  How can I do a remote chapel talk? They both tried their best and did an incredible job. I loved their advice to get outside and to get a hobby.  Watching those chapel talks gave me incredible hope in the future. There was no hug line for either of them, but I felt the love and kindness of our community.  Chapel talks are one of those secrets of Lakefield… you have to experience them to understand them. They are “So Lakefield”. Thanks to our grade 12s, we will continue to experience that part of Lakefield, remotely.

My focus this morning is on what it means to be kind, and I hope we think of kindness in two ways – Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

How are you being kind to yourself? In particular – How are you being kind to your mind? How are you developing and growing your mind?  We can feel overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, and worry in these challenging times, and this is normal.  You have a choice to make – get lost in Netflix or social media… or do something more.

This morning, I am asking that you actually take care of your mind and pay attention to your various emotions. Learn more skillful ways to be with difficult emotions.  Take time each day to sit quietly and feel your emotions.  Or go for a walk. Get outside.  Get a new hobby.  Write about how you are feeling in a journal or talk about those feelings with a friend or family member. Another strategy to be kind to yourself is to take time to imagine what might happen in the future.  My point is that you need to find a way to have a sense of calm and peace. We all need to work on ourselves so we can have an impact on others.  Panic is contagious. Calm is contagious too.  The world needs a wise, calm person in each home that brings more understanding to these circumstances.

So my first hope is that you take time to be kind to yourself.

My second point is to be kind to others.  Connect. Call a friend. Call someone who wouldn’t necessarily get a call.  Call your grandparents. Write a note to a classmate.  Write a note to whoever made you dinner last night… Notice what others are doing to make your life better, and share that gratitude. Being kind to others actually feels good… gets us out of self-pity.

So my second hope is that you force yourself to be kind to others.

In this difficult time, we all need community more than ever. I am grateful for our Lakefield community.

We are making history. We are Lakefield. We got this.

Running a school by zoom

Almost two weeks ago, on March 17^th, we launched zoom for our Leadership Team (LT) and introduced new protocols for meetings. We begin with a personal check-in, then move through our agenda, which always begins with students and ends with identification and updates on our list of biggest risks.   We end with something light-hearted, and it feels good to smile or even laugh as a team.  We have been meeting four times per week since we closed the school, and I don’t see that changing in the near future.  The challenges in this time of crisis are time-consuming and demand a whole new level of creativity and collaboration.  Thank goodness we have zoom to manage this reality.

On March 25^th, we ran our first operational staff meeting by zoom with 57 colleagues.  Our LT talked a lot about our objectives, and we made a plan to spend time doing a check-in with everyone present.  The meeting turned out to be one of my week’s highlights.  People were efficient with their quick updates, and yet they packed in humour (like the cat’s tooth that fell out), generosity (baking for neighbours), love of nature (seeing deer from their new home office or a beaver and fox on a drive) and humility (turns out I am not a great teacher!).  What surprised me was the number of staff members who wore Lakefield gear, and I agree with one comment that our swag never looked better.

This week, our Heads of House began meeting their students by zoom call as well.  By the end of March, every Lakefield student will have participated on a zoom house-meeting call.  In one case, the Head of House and parents collaborated to plan a surprise birthday party as part of their zoom meeting.  In another house meeting, they included the very popular woman who cleans their house, so they could celebrate her birthday.  I am so inspired by the creativity of our community!

On March 27^th, we ran our first round of parent meetings by zoom.  We scheduled three times for parents to call in, and by the end of Friday, we had connected with families from over 20 countries.  In total, over 125 families participated, with multiple family members in each household.  Every parent was invited to give a brief update, and I swear I could feel the relief when each person reported: “And we are all fine.”  One parent from Saudi Arabia reminded us that we are all brothers and sisters in this crisis, and he is praying for our Lakefield and global communities.  More than one parent asked if our teachers and staff were also fine.  We used the chat function for questions, greetings and gratitude, and each one-hour call was both informative and heart-warming.  I hadn’t thought about the fact that some of our students would join their parents, and it was amazingly fun to see their waves and smiles.  We will definitely repeat these meetings, in part so everyone can hear the updates and in part, so we can see each other and send our Lakefield love out around the world.

I had an absolute favourite moment.  At the end of our 5:00pm call, when we were saying our goodbyes, someone yelled out, “Bye Ms Kee… we love you”.  And then it started – in addition to the smiles and waves, people started blowing kisses before hanging up.  Some people yelled out messages of love to everyone as they blew kisses.  Naturally, I got teary as I, too, blew kisses to our families.  If you had told me when I became Head of School, that I would be blowing kisses to 75+ families on a zoom call, I would have never believed it to be true.  If you had told me that we would have a special experience that is unique to our community, something we call a “So Lakefield” moment, when using technology (and not in-person or outdoors), I would have never believed it to be true.

As we plan this week to shift to remote learning, as schools all over the world are doing, I am more confident than ever that we will make it work.  We have a plan to continue our academic program to the end of June so that students can continue their learning.  We are working on a plan to offer clubs and activities, so students can continue to be exposed to a variety of opportunities and enjoy a well-rounded education.  And after the past two weeks on zoom, I know for a fact that our plan for students and teachers to continue to connect will be a reality.  Thanks to zoom, our Grove roots will run deeper and wider than ever.  These relationships will help sustain us through this global crisis, and my hope is that our Lakefield community will be equally generous in extending their connections beyond school.  We are Lakefield, and the world needs our values more than ever.

Have you ever put a tooth in the microwave?

I believe in asking good questions. It is one of the mantras of our family; it was what drove the CAIS accreditation process; it is what I am thinking about today as I attend the EMA Heads Institute; and one of my summer projects is always to think about – and maybe even answer! – a few questions.  Sometimes, figuring out the questions is more important than figuring out the answers.

Here are my summer questions:

What to read?  I am lugging a hard-cover Harvard University Press book around called In Search of Deeper Learning.  With our new strategic plan’s direction of Authentic Learning, I want to understand: how can we ensure LCS is an inspirational learning community that includes mastery, identity and creativity?  Our Leadership Team is also reading Collins’ new book, Turning the Flywheel, and our summer project is to think about our unique flywheel. (Just so you don’t think I am completely work-obsessed, for fun, I grabbed a Louise Penny book).

How can we be even better?  Our school is thriving on several fronts and has achieved two significant firsts:  we were full as of May 1^st with great students and we received our largest ever single donation.  This is simultaneously amazing and terrifying and raises more questions:  Why have we experienced some success? What if we can’t continue this trend? And what’s next?  I ask the same questions of myself.  I spend time writing out my key moments of the year – both highs and lows, for the school and for myself – and then I see what happens.  I return to the list over the two months and find this exercise valuable.

How can I think about revenue and our unique value proposition?  At the EMA Heads Institute, we began with some big trends about demographics and the economy.  When leaders who have worked with independent schools for decades say they are worried about the industry, I also worry about sustainability.  I always loved Chris Bart’s explanation of strategy – that there are three things and three things only that you need to think about strategy, and then he only has two:  revenue and unique value.  So how do we sharpen our unique value proposition saw? How do we generate more revenue and what are the creative ways to reinvest in our school?

As for the question posed in the title of this blog, it is not one of my summer questions. Kathleen is working at a camp and never fails to come home with funny stories.  As a family, we always laugh at good kid questions, and this, so far, is my favourite.  But it does remind me of the need to listen to student questions and pose questions back to them.   And then listen.  So here is my final question:

How can we prioritize student voice in our programs?  The pressures on teenagers are growing and we need to learn all we can to support, challenge and inspire them.  (As a Leadership Team, we listened to this podcast about adolescents and well-being: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/when-good-intentions-go-bad/id990149481?i=1000443425082.)  What I really love to do is meet with students and listen to their ideas.  I ask them how can we improve our school and learning. Next year, with our new vision statement, I will also ask how they will make the world a better place.

For now, however, as I head into my holidays, I might also spend some time thinking about what happens if you put a tooth in the microwave…

Three Hopes for 2019

When I reflect on our first term at the Grove, three specific moments come to mind:

In the fall, one of our grade ten students wanted to express her gratitude for our food.  To be honest, her original motivation was not gratitude but frustration:  she was bothered that so many students complained about food.  She wrote to friends and asked them to share photos of their meals.  She then put together a presentation to remind our community that we are fortunate to have such diverse, healthy, and tasty meals prepared for us. This led her to an idea – she invited our food service team to chapel and thanked them on behalf of our community.

And then the moment happened.  Our students jumped to their feet for a standing ovation for our dining and cleaning staff.

The second moment actually happened numerous times in one week. This fall, our production of Mamma Mia! was beyond amazing.  Our little theatre was bursting with energy and everyone jumped to their feet for a standing ovation at the end of each show.  What I loved most is that people stayed on their feet, singing and dancing during the last couple of numbers.

The third moment – another standing ovation – was a complete surprise.  Our Christmas chapel happens in the evening after students enjoy a formal meal in the dining hall.  At the beginning, I noticed that students seemed restless, and, I was a bit nervous about their ability to behave appropriately for the duration of the service.  Turns out – they were more than respectful.  When Adam Bishop, a member of our Foundation team and a former Head Boy, walked to the front to sing “O Holy Night” accompanied by our pianist, there was a lot of energy in chapel.  I know that Adam is a talented singer, and yet I felt nervous for him – no matter your talent, it takes courage to perform solo in front of hundreds of students.  But he began, and we were enraptured.  At the end, there was a pause.  I sometimes wonder about the appropriateness of clapping during a chapel service, and it was as if the entire chapel was pondering the exact same question.  And just as quickly, the question was answered.  The entire chapel sprang to their feet clapping.  The final song that night – Joy to the World – was the most enthusiastic singing I’ve heard in chapel since my arrival.

Now here’s the thing about standing ovations:  They are spontaneous. They only happen in groups.  They are full of joy.

That combination, to me, is “So Lakefield…”

I hope your year includes moments of spontaneity, community and joy.  I hope you might be able to return for a visit this year, perhaps to experience our theatre, chapel or another event.  And I sincerely hope you’re really lucky, and you get to be part of the transformative experience of a standing ovation at the Grove.

Happy new year!

Highlights from 2018 at Lakefield College School

 

 

 

 

 

Our ‘Lake’ is more Lakefield than ever

We are not sure how many people joined us for Fall Fair 2018.  We outgrew the dining hall and had to move the alumni dinner outside, and even at that we had a waitlist.  Our food service provider told me he made 1300 chicken breasts and had 50 left – only at Lakefield would we use chicken as our metric.  Everyone said it was going to be the largest ever Fall Fair, and it was.  But not just because of the number of people.

On Saturday, we gathered to officially open our waterfront.  We wanted to do something special to celebrate and so we decided – why not throw a party?  We had the usual bake sales and raffles, with alumni from every decade, starting with the 40’s.  We also had children everywhere with bouncy castles, an art fair, and flags.  Our cake was a canoe with cupcake waves – it’s so amazing that I am including a photo below – and one unexpected outcome is that kids cried as they had to wait until after the official ceremony to dig in.  It was a party all right.

And then we gathered at the waterfront and the magic continued.  One of our students, Claire Campbell, worked with one of our teachers, Hugh Dobson, along with a whole crew of others, to organize a Paddle Extravaganza.  Over 80 paddlers canoed 10km of the Trent Severn Waterway – through four lift-locks – in support of the Canadian Canoe Museum.  Before arriving at our dock, they rigged up 41 flags, representing the 40 countries we have at the school, plus one from Curve Lake.  When they got within sight, hundreds of people gathered on our dock.  It was powerful and more than one person had tears in their eyes.  For me, I was full of anxiety about the wind and keeping to our program, but I just had to stop and enjoy the moment.  I relive that feeling every time I hear a story about their paddling experience – when the Turkish brothers made sure that they paddled with their flag; when the group yelled to slow down the American paddlers as they didn’t like the optics of them in the lead; when a staff member described the pride of paddling the canoe that belongs to her grandparents; and when the string quartet and the trumpeters surprised the paddlers by serenading them at the locks.  It was powerful.

And there was more.

Our waterfront is on the shores of Lake Kathchewanooka, and Katchewanooka is an Ojibway word, which directly connects us with our indigenous peoples, who also paddled our lake.  We enjoyed the music of Unity, an a cappella women’s group who perform their own work as well as traditional Indigenous music and began our ceremony with an Anishinaabe elder who acknowledged the land with a blessing and prayer.

Our students performed – we are one of the first schools in Canada to produce Mamma Mia! and we got a sneak peek preview of that show, with our dock as our stage. And we wrapped up the ceremony with a good Canadian song – everyone joined in the singing with our Rock Choir of ‘Ahead by a Century’.

It was a deeply meaningful and symbolic day.

Our new waterfront captures the best of the past – with our iconic boathouse looking spiffier than ever – with the best of the future – with our new dock reaching out into Lake Katchawanooka.  Katchewanooka means lake of many rapids, and typically, rapids are sections of a river where the water moves quickly.  It is the constant flow that ensures nourishment to the environment.  We are inspired by the idea that our lake is a symbol of change.  We began our official opening with our oldest alum – our past – paddling alongside our youngest student – our future.

This year, as we launch our strategic plan, we are working on our current – to maintain a balance of honouring our past and our traditions, but always moving forward with strengthening our strengths, and a genuine openness to always being better.

We know that we want our students to care, connect, and contribute.  We want our students to be known as leaders who demonstrate a responsibility to the environment.  We want our students to be known for their passion, particularly for their community.  When a school like Lakefield, that has been thriving for 139 years, considers its future, the question is not just what needs to change. The question is also what must we preserve.

We have a saying around here – That’s so Lakefield – and there were many moments on Saturday when that was the case. I am grateful that our new waterfront provided us with the chance to celebrate and be reminded of the power of our environment and the strength of our community. 

 

Expressing Individuality

Last week at The Opinicon, I did one of my favourite things: I spent time watching little children.  (I hope that doesn’t sound too creepy!). As I sat enjoying coffee, I spotted three children, probably around the age of six, heading towards the park.  It was one of those boiling hot July mornings, and two of the kids wore little tank tops, the kind with the spaghetti straps, and shorts. But one wore a long-sleeve – full length – jacket that was yellow, with a couple of red stripes, and when she turned around I saw that the back had big letters: “CHIEF.”  I love that kids express themselves so openly and confidently, knowing what they want and going for it.  Why let a heat wave get in the way of being chief?

The second scene was at the pool.  There was a boy – younger this time, maybe three years old? – who jumped into his parents’ outstretched arms. I watched as he scrambled to get the water out of his eyes and recover a bit, and then he shouted a word familiar to every parent:  “Again”.  I stopped counting the number of times this exact activity occurred.  Every parent has been in this situation – over and over.  I remember the enthusiasm of Jacob and Kathleen in these moments in the pool or in the park or wherever, and I remember struggling to just go with the moment.

Now there was a time when I thought I would be a junior school teacher – I would spend my days laughing and being inspired by their passion and creativity.  That quickly passed.  The requirements of the job – like managing the energy and personalities of 25+ children in one room – made me realize that I was more suited to teaching teenagers.

But the individuality and passion of both children got me thinking – when those kids grow up to be teenagers, they will not express their feelings so openly.  If they have been lucky enough to even discover their passion, they will more likely choose to try to fit in.  It is just that stage of life.  So there’s the fun part of my job.  How do the best high schools create opportunities for teens to be fire chiefs and shout “again”?  Three strategies come to mind.

People:  Teens need inspirational adults – those who pursue their own interests while also proactively engaging them to figure out who they are and what motivates them.  Teens don’t miss a beat; they listen and watch adults carefully, and they sniff out authenticity.  Teens are most drawn to adults who know and can be themselves. The best schools understand this intuitively and invest in attracting, developing and retaining a variety of inspirational adults.

Place:  Teenagers, especially, will take time to explore and connect with their environment.  They might not express this until much later in life, but place matters.  So the best schools invest in inspirational classrooms and spaces, both indoors and out.   Having spent a year at Lakefield, I now understand the expression that the classroom is the third teacher.  We see the benefits of being outdoors every day, and we know that teens thrive when their environment calls them to explore.

Programs:  Teens need choice.  Lots of choice.  They need to pick courses and clubs and activities that they want to try, and if they don’t want to try, they need policies that require them to get involved.  At Lakefield, as in all great schools, students are required to participate in arts and athletics, and they must engage in something every day after classes. We also encourage students to compete and push their limits.

When I recently saw a photo of one of our students winning the Dalglish Art Award, I was reminded that teens can find a way – when people, place and programs align – to express their passions and enthusiasms.  Teens may not express themselves as easily or as frequently as children, but we need to work hard to support them.

And when they do, we should all pay attention.

 

 

That’s so Lakefield

One day this week, as I watched Garret Hart empty maple tree buckets in the rain, I thought – that’s so Lakefield.  And immediately a bunch of other images came to mind:

• I walked past Ondaatje House one night and saw Jenn Browne working with a student on a university admissions essay. Why was that “so Lakefield”?  It was after 9:00pm and there was a teacher in a common room working with a student.  No big deal. That’s just what happens around here 24/7.
• It was 9:25pm one night last month, and I was waiting for the Grove house girls to come over for cookies. I went to reception thinking they might come through the school; then I stood in my front hallway, thinking they would come to my front door, and wondering if anyone would show up.  And that’s when I heard a bunch of giggling girls coming through my house. They let themselves in my backdoor.  Of course they did.
• In the middle of our Dance Showcase, a ring came down and one of our girls performed Cirque du Soleil style maneuvers as part of the dance. I had no idea our students were so talented, but when I mentioned this to an alum, he said, “That’s so Lakefield” (I’m not even kidding).
• I walked in to Bruce McMahon’s class and they were studying da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man (based on the concept of ideal human proportions). He suggested his students should measure him.
• As I sat in chapel, listening to a chapel talk and facing the student body, I noticed a number of teary eyes, and felt my own eyes welling up. Only the alumni will really understand this one, but tears in chapel is so Lakefield.
• I walked down the path of our Northcotte Campus to join everyone at our Winter Carnival. Around the corner comes a team of horses pulling a sleigh full of students.  We hire eight teams of horses for this event, and one of our student clubs restores antique sleighs. Now THAT is so Lakefield.
• In a meeting one day, I looked out on our field, and was surprised to see a whole class out snow-shoeing. No one else thought this was unusual.  As I am learning, this is so Lakefield.

So as I look out my window and see that the ice on the lake has partially melted, and I think about our students coming back for our final term, I wonder how many more “so Lakefield” moments there will be.  I keep hearing that spring is the best time of year around here, and I for one, cannot wait to get started.

 

Making time for “the moments”

Last Sunday, I woke up to a note from a student I taught at Lower Canada College 15 years ago.  And it made me wonder – what makes a student wake up and write to an old teacher?  What are the moments that stand out, years later?

Ryan was part of a student trip to China that Kevin and I lead one March break, and we got to know his group of friends really well.  You tend to bond when you experience places like the Great Wall and the Mausoleum of the First Qin Emperor (home of the terracotta warriors).  But he didn’t write about our trip.  Ryan was a very good student, and I taught his brother and got to know his parents as well.  But he didn’t write about anything that ever happened during a class.  The truth is, if you had asked me years ago, to identify the student who would write to me out of the blue 15 years later, I am not sure that Ryan would have topped the list.

So why did a former student wake up in February and write to an old teacher?  With his permission, I share it here:

Hi Mrs Kee,

I was thinking about our long-term character flaws you asked us to work on.

Pete was compassion, Dave was chill, I was leadership and Joe was step up. I wonder how we all did on our various projects. I asked Dave and he said he is not much more chill. I think Joe has certainly stepped up as he is going to medical school which is quite a challenge. Not sure about Pete’s compassion (although he did send me a very nice note when he skipped my wedding).

With regards to my trait of leadership, I would have been even more specific and said that I needed to work on assertiveness (an element of leadership).  Sometimes I have the tendency to be too passive instead of grabbing the bull by the horns. I probably have improved since grade 11 though.

Hope you are doing well at the new school. Patti MacDonald sent me your new email address.

If you still want, I can try to organize a reunion (I can take the “lead” on that).

Best,

Ryan

He is writing about a conversation that we had had, along with his group of friends.  It was actually a moment I also remember well, as does Kevin, which is remarkable given all of the students in both of our lives over the years.  This is a conversation that happened for two reasons – we knew each other well and we had opportunity to talk about something meaningful.  Time is key here.

I’m reading the new book by the Heath brothers, The Power of Moments, and they ask a question that I find compelling – what if a teacher could design a lesson that students would remember twenty years later?

Ryan’s letter is a good example of the power of moments.  I’m not sure, however, that moments are easily created.  I would not want curriculums all over the world to include a “life conversation”, thinking you can create a meaningful connection as if there was some kind of superficial magical formula.   The Heath brothers are talking about Disney; I am talking about having the kind of talks you can only have with people who know each other, over time.

For teenagers, what they want – and need! – are adults who get to know them and take the time to challenge their thinking.  In the case of my conversation with Ryan, it was authentic – and clearly turned out to be memorable – because you had people spending time together and actually speaking to one another about real issues that mattered.

We are all busy.  Most of us feel that we are too busy.  But this email is a powerful reminder that we need to slow down, put our phones away, and spend time connecting with each other.  And then for the moments to really be memorable?  We need to connect again and again, so when the chance to have a life conversation happens, we won’t even know it is a life conversation, because it is just what we do.

Thank you, Ryan, for this reminder.

This is the season of gift-giving

When our children were in kindergarten and grade one, they were standing at the bus stop and my husband, Kevin, overheard this conversation:

Jacob – The kids at school are saying that Santa is not real.

Kathleen – What?

Jacob – The kids at school are saying that Santa is not real. It’s our parents.

Kathleen – Jacob, do you really think our parents fly all over the world on a sleigh, giving gifts to other kids?

And that was the end of it.  He was convinced, and we were humbled.  Our children just could not imagine that their parents could be that generous at gift-giving.

Since I have arrived, four months ago, I have seen that gift-giving happens at Lakefield College School.

For example, this week, we heard our first chapel talk.  There are two gifts embedded in this tradition. The first is that teenagers stand in front of 350+ people and express gratitude for their friends and family. I asked Niko to share his speech with me, as I am pretty sentimental about firsts, and he will forever be my first chapel speech as Head of School.  With his permission, I want to share a couple of sections of his chapel talk.

Niko said this:

Nanna, there is not one negative bone in your body; you are the most optimistic, happy, and joyful person in the world. I aspire to have those same characteristics, which at the moment I do not.

The second gift within our traditional chapel speeches is that students give advice to their peers.  Niko said this:

I’ve experienced more in my time here at Lakefield than in my entire life. Lakefield is what you make it to be, and that’s what makes it so special. Basketball has been a huge part my journey at Lakefield. Times when I’m stressed and I have a lot of work or when I just don’t feel like me, I’ll just go and shoot hoops and that will make me feel better or distract me from whatever is bothering me.  For the people that haven’t found that something, this is the perfect place to find it. Lakefield gives each of us an opportunity to find that thing.  We have the facilities, the community, and the resources to find that something that helps you. That is what makes Lakefield so special.

There is a real gift in every single chapel speech when teens express this kind of passion – and vulnerability! – in front of hundreds of others teens.  I can assure you – it is very powerful to sit in chapel in those moments, as our students listen.

There is also the gift of sharing talents.  Our Grove Society Christmas Gathering is a perfect example of how our community develops passions – we get to enjoy our orchestra, choirs, creative writing, and additional expressions of passions like global initiatives and environmental stewardship. We have had an incredible fall with our Remembrance Day ceremony and our Damn Yankees musical, which are two of the best performances in the country.  There is talent at Lakefield College School – and it is reciprocal. Our faculty teach our students to bring out the best in themselves; and I hear our faculty talk about how much they learn from our students.  Gift-giving is a gift that gives twice, and there is a lot of generosity in our community.

We are also blessed to be part of a broader community. Lakefield is not just a school with teachers, staff and students. The power of this place is that parents and alumni are also actively involved. When I look around at the decorations right now in chapel, and I can see the care that went in to every decision – the maple syrup, the skis, the snow shoes, and the terrapin (I am waiting for the honey bee to arrive).  We are fortunate to have a community that shares the responsibility of caring for and celebrating our students.

Finally, I want to leave you with a thought about the real power of gift-giving.

I believe that our staff are exceptional.  They work hard and long hours.  They are passionate about their subject and the art of teaching and learning. But there is something more. I felt it as a parent, when my children were here, particularly when they went through some tough times and their teachers, Heads of House and frankly all of the adults that surrounded them, supported them.

Nelson Mandela once said – It never hurts to see the good in someone. They often act the better because of it.

I believe our staff and teachers see the best in our students and go above and beyond to support them to be the best people they can be.

Now that I have lived here for four months, I have to say that I now better understand the expression that Lakefield College is a feeling. Some have called it Grovey and I think that is a perfect word because no one knows what it means. But there is a feeling here that is created because of the relationships between students and between students and staff. I also cannot define that feeling, but whatever it is, it is the gift of this school and being part of this community. And I am grateful to be a small part of it.

So in this season of gift-giving, may you give the gift of sharing your gratitude for others – and expressing it!

May you give the gift of sharing your talents.

May you give the incredible gift of listening to one another.

And, throughout this entire holiday season and beyond, may you give the gift of seeing the best in others.